LELA House

Tag: self care

  • Cultural Custodian

    Cultural Custodian

    Hello!

    How are you? I pray you’re well.

    I’m doing fine and dandy, thank you very much.

    Last time I wrote, I mentioned I’ve come to consider myself a cultural custodian for black women, and I promised I’d elaborate on that idea.

    Lately I’ve pondered a lot about my career, and what I love to do, and what I love to read, and who I like to serve, and so many things pointed to black women. I’m a black woman, and I love that. I love my skin and my hair and my culture. I’ve even learned to love things like having to work harder for half as much and consistently being underestimated when I walk into a room. I don’t love that those things are reality; rather, I love that through them I’ve learned strength and compassion.

    I seek out and surround myself with black women. I read books by and about black women, particularly historical black women. I care about what concerns us. And through LELA House, I find my work connects to protecting our hearts, expanding our joy, and highlighting our voices.

    All of this led me to consider myself a cultural custodian of black women. Obviously I looked up many definitions and connotations of cultural, custodian, and cultural custodian. Who would I be if I didn’t look up definitions? 🙂

    Many definitions included the ideas of preserving, maintaining, safeguarding, and promoting the traditions, practices, values, and narratives of a culture. I find all of those ideas valuable and accurate as they relate to my work at LELA House. Through book coaching, writing coaching, and self-care services, I do, indeed, strive to preserve, maintain, safeguard, and promote the traditions, practices, values, and narratives of black women. One definition of cultural custodian, from “The Custodian: Introduction: The Custodian and the Significance of Art Preservation” in the November 13, 2023 issue of Selections Magazine, added some nuance that particularly struck a chord with me.

    “In the world of art, the custodian plays a pivotal role in the protection, curation, and promotion of artworks and collections. Whether an individual or an institution, custodians shoulder the responsibility of ensuring that these artistic expressions remain intact for future generations. Their role extends beyond mere preservation; it encompasses a commitment to making art accessible, fostering an understanding of its historical and cultural context, and supporting the broader appreciation of artistic endeavors.”

    Resonating the most with me is the idea of black women ourselves, not solely the creative works we produce, as art. My take on the quotation becomes the following.

    In the world of black women as masterpieces, the custodian plays a pivotal role in the protection, curation, and promotion of individual black women and us as a collective. Whether an individual or an institution, custodians shoulder the responsibility of ensuring that black women’s narratives remain intact for future generations. Their role extends beyond mere preservation; it encompasses a commitment to making black women’s stories accessible, fostering an understanding of their historical and cultural context, and supporting the broader appreciation of black women, our experiences, and our creative expression.

    And yes, that is work I want to do.

    Why do I care so much about our stories from the long US 19th Century and supporting those who tell them? Because mere preservation isn’t enough; our stories must be accessible to foster an understanding of our historical and cultural context. Why do I care about our stories from other historical eras and supporting those who share them? Because our narratives must remain intact for future generations. Why do I care about our joy and well-being and supporting black women as we incorporate these things into our lives? Because we must support the broader appreciation of black women, our experiences, and our creative expression. Why do I consider myself a cultural custodian for black women? Because we are masterpieces who must be protected and promoted as individuals and as a collective, and God created me to serve in that role.

    God has been leading me to work as a cultural custodian for black women for my entire life. From my high school acts of civil disobedience to pledging my sorority to adventuring with my mother, to being outraged at discrimination in a library, I’ve spent 30+ years serving as a cultural custodian for black women without knowing that was what I was doing.

    But I know now. Let’s see where God will take me.

    Until next time!

  • THRIVE Community

    THRIVE Community

    I’m building THRIVE Community to support black women in higher education, particularly those who live in the St. Louis metropolitan area.

    With all of the changes under the new Trump administration, I’m concerned about – well, a lot of things, to be honest. The takeovers, the proposed eradication of the Department of Education, the erasures of history, the attack on the arts, the redaction of DEI, and on and on. Honestly, it’s exhausting. And disheartening.

    So I’m ecstatic that I serve a God who is Sovereign and in control and able to handle whatever comes our way!

    As I’ve been thinking and praying about all the things, my heart keeps circling back to black women in higher education. Higher education is a difficult space to exist in as a woman. And even more difficult as a black woman. Add in all of the things happening in the US right now, and we get a concoction primed to take out all the black women fighting the good fight in higher education.

    I may not be able to do everything, but I am able to do something, and the something I can do is provide a place where black women in higher education can create, encourage, hold, and demand space for our own creativity, joy, and rest.

    So I’m creating THRIVE Community. It’s a work in progress, and we need your help.

    Please check out the link to learn more about THRIVE Community, and if you would like to join our new community, just fill out the Google form you’ll find near the bottom of the THRIVE Community page.

    If you like what you find, please share THRIVE Community with others.

    Here’s to THRIVE-ing!

  • Pocket Coaching

    Pocket Coaching

    As I’m a certified life coach, it comes a surprise to no one that I’ve worked long-term with a life coach. I may be biased, but I believe everyone needs someone they can talk out their quandaries with and set a plot forward for growth and momentum.

    I loved our biweekly Zoom calls, but what I didn’t love was the time between the calls. Now, for full disclosure, my ride-or-die life coach let me email him between sessions, and I did just that on occasion. But I didn’t want to overstep. Time is valuable, and I didn’t feel good encroaching on his time without compensating him for it.

    So during those in between times, I tried to remember questions I wanted to ask in our next session. I thought about prioritizing them, even, but mostly I just forgot.

    Sometimes during those in between times I needed a word of encouragement or some help brainstorming an idea. Sometimes I got what I needed in other ways; sometimes I floundered.

    Also during those in between times I struggled to hold myself accountable to what I said I would do.

    To be direct, life coaching is not about enabling or becoming a crutch for people, so I had my own work to do during those in between times. And I did it. Not always elegantly, but progress and growth happened.

    But I wondered what it would be like if I could just have a coach in my back pocket whenever I wanted to reach out – not necessarily for a long-term commitment.

    Then I wondered what it would be like, as an overwhelmed educator, and as a woman, and as a black woman, and as a woman who is now of a certain age, and as a wife, and as a mom, and as a writer, to have someone who looked like me and could relate to my multifaceted day-to-day life just hanging out in my back pocket whenever I was ready to reach out.

    And I thought that would be really cool.

    So I would like to be that for you.

    Pocket Coaching is 30 days of unlimited email coaching that allows you to reach out in your own way and in your own time. Maybe you need some ideas for practicing self-care. Maybe you’re working on a piece of writing and need an extra set of eyes. Maybe you’d like to rewrite your life story. Maybe you’d like some book suggestions for current challenges and changes in your life. Maybe you need some daily devotionals. Maybe you need a word of encouragement.

    Think of Pocket Coaching as in-the-moment support, like what we provide to our students and colleagues every single day.

    Except now it’s for you.

    30 days of Pocket Coaching just might change your life. Sign up at the link below.

    https://www.coachaccountable.com/offering/PYClF7cExmOmKXWrAuees4F7cUwRZsU

  • What I’m Reading Wednesday – Education in the News Edition

    What I’m Reading Wednesday – Education in the News Edition

    I had the idea to share with all of you what I’m reading, so I’m implementing “What I’m Reading Wednesday.”

    The idea of “What I’m Reading Wednesday” stems from a few things. The first is that people often ask me what I’m reading. The second is that what we read shapes what we think and who we are. The third is that it’s good to try new things.

    Each Wednesday, I will post a snapshot of what I’ve read since the previous Wednesday. It will be a collection of books and articles. Please be advised that I pick up and put down books and interests with abandon. You might find I’ve read deeply on a topic for a month or that I’ll pick up a book that I haven’t read in a year and start back right where I left off. I follow my interests in my reading, and that can be wide ranging.

    If you are interested in seeing more than a snapshot of what I’m reading, you can check out the link to my Evernote notebook cleverly titled “What I’m Reading.” I don’t always remember to clip internet articles to Evernote (and sometimes it won’t let me).

    On to the reading for this week.

    Evernote “What I’m Reading” Notebook

    If you’ve read any of these or plan to read them, please leave a comment. I figure most of us could use someone to talk to about what we’re reading.

    And lastly, but very importantly, what are you reading?

    Enjoy your reading this week!

  • What I’m Reading Wednesday – Beware the Ides of March Edition

    What I’m Reading Wednesday – Beware the Ides of March Edition

    I had the idea to share with all of you what I’m reading, so I’m implementing “What I’m Reading Wednesday.” Today is March 15, which is the Ides of March, and according to Shakespeare, we should beware. I’m still not sure why. Other than the nod to Shakespeare in the title, I don’t have anything else relating to the Ides of March, but if you find something, please post a comment and let us know.

    The idea of “What I’m Reading Wednesday” stems from a few things. The first is that people often ask me what I’m reading. The second is that what we read shapes what we think and who we are. The third is that it’s good to try new things.

    Each Wednesday, I will post a snapshot of what I’ve read since the previous Wednesday. It will be a collection of books and articles. Please be advised that I pick up and put down books and interests with abandon. You might find I’ve read deeply on a topic for a month or that I’ll pick up a book that I haven’t read in a year and start back right where I left off. I follow my interests in my reading, and that can be wide ranging.

    If you are interested in seeing more than a snapshot of what I’m reading, you can check out the link to my Evernote notebook cleverly titled “What I’m Reading.” I don’t always remember to clip internet articles to Evernote (and sometimes it won’t let me).

    On to the reading for this week.

    Evernote “What I’m Reading” Notebook

    If you’ve read any of these or plan to read them, please leave a comment. I figure most of us could use someone to talk to about what we’re reading.

    And lastly, but very importantly, what are you reading?

    Enjoy your reading this week!

  • What I’m Reading Wednesday

    What I’m Reading Wednesday

    I had the idea to share with all of you what I’m reading, so today I’m implementing “What I’m Reading Wednesday.”

    The idea stems from a few things. The first is that people often ask me what I’m reading. The second is that what we read shapes what we think and who we are. The third is that it’s good to try new things.

    Each Wednesday, I will post a snapshot of what I’ve read since the previous Wednesday. It will be a collection of books and articles. Please be advised that I pick up and put down books and interests with abandon. You might find I’ve read deeply on a topic for a month or that I’ll pick up a book that I haven’t read in a year and start back right where I left off. I follow my interests in my reading, and that can be wide ranging.

    If you are interested in seeing more than a snapshot of what I’m reading, you can check out the link to my Evernote notebook cleverly titled “What I’m Reading.” I don’t always remember to clip internet articles to Evernote (and sometimes it won’t let me).

    On to the reading for this week.

    Evernote “What I’m Reading” Notebook

    If you’ve read any of these or plan to read them, please leave a comment. I figure most of us could use someone to talk to about what we’re reading.

    And lastly, but very importantly, what are you reading?

    Enjoy your reading this week!

  • Self-care Requires Discipline

    Self-care Requires Discipline

    Self-care calls for discipline rather than indulgence.

    I’ll let you read that agin, so it can sink it. Self-care calls for discipline rather than indulgence.

    Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a good indulgence, and I probably indulge more often than I should. Self-care, however, should comprise consistent habits of wellness, not one-off moments of escapism. And doing anything that’s worthwhile, and doing it consistently, requires discipline.

    What’s easier? Setting and keeping the boundaries necessary for you to read for 30 minutes per day – or – allowing other people and tasks and mindless scrolling to fill up those 30 minutes at least several times per week?

    The discipline required for self-care is a gift to yourself and a gift to those you love and serve.

    • You learn to make boundaries.
    • You learn to maintain boundaries.
    • You give yourself time to recharge.
    • You give yourself time to refresh.
    • You give yourself permission to even acknowledge you need to recharge and refresh.
    • You model boundaries.
    • You model self-care.
    • You model being human.
    • You show up more vibrantly.
    • You become more present.
    • You improve your creativity.
    • You improve your physical health.
    • You improve your mental health.
    • You improve your emotional health.
    • You ultimately have more of yourself to give when you take time for yourself.

    Everybody wins. There is no losing.

    I invite you to give yourself an hour and a half on one Sunday each month to devote to self care. That’s not enough self-care for anyone, but it’s a start, and you’re worth it.

    Click below to register for a LELA House Self-care Sunday event on Sunday, February 19, 2023. And until then, take 30 minutes for yourself and comment below letting us know what you did. See you Sunday!

    Register on Eventbrite